Toujours

“So listen to me when I say love isn’t something that we invented. It’s observable. Powerful. It has to mean something. Maybe it means something more – something we can’t yet understand. Maybe it’s some evidence, some artifact of a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive. I’m drawn across the universe to someone I haven’t seen in a decade who I know is probably dead. Love is the one thing that we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t understand it.” – Amelia Brand, Interstellar (2014).


This is something I’ve written to Daniel in the past and till today I still feel the words coming from the bottom of my heart. I’m too sensitive. I feel everything too deeply.

“Maybe, maybe when you’re gone, your particles will float into space, or perhaps it floats to a higher dimension that we can’t consciously perceive. Maybe, maybe, that’s our afterlife. However that will cease to be a real afterlife because we do not exist. Only particles of us exist.

I read that our atoms can never be destroyed according to quantum mechanics. As long as our particles are complete, we can be reformed from that and perhaps be human once again, that’s if our particles are not mixed up with other atoms to form other matters.

If that happens, you will exist again except that we will be really apart this time. We would perhaps be many light years away, or you might have winded up in another universe through a black hole. You would be in a different dimension.

And this is where what Brand says comes in: we love people who have died. On earth you’re dead, but perhaps if it were possible and you were reformed again in another dimension, that would explain why I still feel your presence like you’re somehow out there, existing. Maybe two people who truly love each other will only have this connection. True love lives on. I would never stop loving you. Brand is right. Love is the one thing that we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time (perhaps in light years) and space (the spaces between us).

With of all of these being said, it’s not impossible to love a person forever. I will eventually die one day and perhaps I will undergo the same thing that happened to you. I’ll exist somewhere out there in the vast universe. I do not know whether we would still be the same, being capable of feeling emotion or perceiving things. But if we do, and if the theory that atoms can never be destroyed holds, our love is infinite, our love is forever.

This is how I know I will love you, forever, Daniel.

I knew forever was staying in my dictionary the moment I met him. It kills me to know that he wouldn’t be in my future. I will die be okay WON’T BE OKAY.

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