I swear to god these kids are interrupting my zen. The constant chatter, shrill voices, noises of people dropping things on the floor, CLING! BZING! Only Anderson Roe’s “I Feel Within The Rain” is keeping me sane right now. I notice so many things, a lot of things that make me uncomfortable. I hear voices still despite having my earbuds on. Should I turn up the volume and risk getting deaf? Or should I tolerate this nuisance?
As I grow old, I feel my level of tolerance declining. At one point, I used to be able to tolerate everybody’s shit, and the shit that has been going around me. However as I get older, things get really irritating and I just can’t deal with it. I feel people’s stares fixated on me, because the Nigerian/Sudanese
(i don’t know) guy across me and I are the only odd ones who stand out. That makes me think that the Matrix might be true. You’re the center in your own universe because the Matrix created you that way. People around you are just projections from your subconsciousness. That is why everything you do that disrupts the balance of the Matrix, gets other people’s attention.
Wait a minute. That was something from Inception.
I paused for awhile and moved my chair to the corner. I do not like the lack of privacy I have here in the students’ hall but I decided to come here anyway because I need the air-conditioning. The weather is unbearably humid and hot. My skin was not made for this. My genetics require me to stay in a cold and dry place. Oh well, maybe I can tolerate the cold and perhaps a little bit of humidity here and there.
A bunch of Chinese kids are swarming in and the level of noise they make is just unbearable for me. As I’m typing this, I hope none of them sees what I’m typing or else they’ll just stare at me, harder and longer. It is awkward when you’re not one with the environment. The vibe of this environment is killing the flow of my sentences. I keep stopping abruptly to think what to say. That’s how you know your zen is interrupted.
My sentences are poorly constructed. I failed to be Hemmingway today.