Souffrance

“Suffering, pain, and sorrow are probably the realest truths of life.”


I’m into Dalai Lama’s teachings about suffering, death, pain and sorrow. As you grow older, you start to realize that there are a lot of sufferings going on around you and the world you once knew as a child, has totally changed. Watching people go through sorrow and pain and everything else while you watch them helplessly just makes you feel hopeless. You stare at them and you wonder what can you do in order to help, but deep down you have this sinking feeling that you won’t really be able to help them.

You’ll need to suffer in order to know how lucky you are – how fucked up is that? Why do humans take so many things for granted and never realize anything valuable they have until they’ve finally lost it? I may be young but it does not mean that I have not gone through anguish, mental anguish. Right now, I am sitting in this hospital while I wait anxiously for mi amor to come out okay from the procedure room.

It’s terrible, no it’s fucking terrible. I’ve wanted to stop swearing for awhile but I just had to, in order to emphasize how horrible things have been going. I do not want to complain but the love of my life probably has it worse than I do. I just want to stay strong for him, but I know I can’t. Well, I’m hanging in there. We all are, aren’t we?

I think from this point on everything will just be full of suffering. I don’t even know how to face the near future that’s approaching. With each day that passes by, you know that time is ticking and that whatever will happen will happen, you know?

Murphy’s Law.

Murphy’s law doesn’t mean that bad things will always happen. It means that whatever can happen, will happen. I don’t know how to feel about that, maybe a little bit consoled? But I do not want to be one of those people who think that everything has already been destined for us. I want to be able to change my future, my destiny.

Never mind, I’ll give this Murphy’s Law some time. Today’s food for thought is about suffering.

If you’re reading this right now, know that you’re very lucky if you’re not suffering. Keep that in mind. Stay zen.

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