Reverse

“Looking back at your past is like going on a reverse, it’s never wrong, it’s just a different direction.”


Moving reverse right now – listening to some of Daniel’s favourite songs. Everytime I listen to them, I feel different. Some days I feel indifferent, some days I feel a little bit of something, some days, I don’t know.

If this is my way of grieving, I certainly do not understand. Or maybe I’m not even grieving anymore, or I just have my emotions suppressed deeply and not being able to experience to them, or I rationalize my feelings so well that it just seems like logic.

Going back in reverse, looking back at the past, wishing somethings turned out differently – that’s something I stopped obsessing about. But there’s a different obsession I have – I keep wishing that I knew what I knew right now back then – again that’s the same with wanting to change the past (cloaked differently).

Shit, I always get distracted once I switch songs, it’s like switching moods right away. Kodaline is too upbeat for me to review my past. Alright

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