Your Lullaby Love

Saudade? Nao. Triste? Nao.

Mi amore, te quiero tanto mucho.

Stefanovski. Lelatubyu. (it means – to slay a slaughter). Seemingly relevant.

Du bist meine Clyde zu meinem Bonnie.

‘Cause when I’m seeing double,
It’s your lullaby love that keeps me from trouble’

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Desire

Have you ever gone past desire to see behind that it’s actually because you can finally accept your 7th house and have a relationship with yourself, and with that you’re ready to give yourself to another wholesomely?

Creative self expression, they always say.. As I type away in my lover’s office in the dark, I silently crave for his presence, or just to touch his face and look at him deeply. Sometimes, he doesn’t know, but I know things. For example, I caught him tearing up a little. Just for awhile, and it was gone.

Concentrate your mind, they say. I find my intense focus drawing some flow of peace and innate warmth from my loins.

I finally know how to stop the tears from coming. I just have to call your name in my head, and pain goes away. They say, whenever you can’t seem to bring yourself to say a certain someone’s name without crying -it’s because your love is overflowing.

I want you here right now.

Moving On

It’s official, the beginning of all endings.

“Move on with your life,” dad said before he and mom left. I stood in the hallway trying hard not to let the tears fall, because I finally understand what love is, what spiritual practice is, which is to give openly despite differences. Acceptance. My inner child has healed in the last few days.

And the other man, S. I was watching him sleep this morning and I don’t want to ever lose him because of my projections. Connect first, always connect first. Never put your agenda forward before connecting.

Disowning Pisces-Gemini-2nd house and diving head straight into 7th-Saggitarrius, disowning my like for airy piano with subtle emotional influences, disowning things that make me, ME, has been the worst betrayal. I never really like betraying other people, but I betrayed myself in a destructive way that only can be shown to light with another person’s compassion…

Family. Love. Kindness. Mental health. Persistence. Creativity. Movement.

Visions of You

I can’t write in this state when my heart and soul is full of nostalgia. I dreamt you out of my 2 favourite animated movies.

Now you’re big as life, breathing, moving, living right before my eyes.

Everytime I see your face, I can’t believe my luck, but this is reality.

I am no longer sad, only carrying remnants of deep love that I have learned from the past.

Liebling, ich liebe dich.

Omega 3

I know, there’s something always about health that we’re all ravin’ about and today I’m going to rave about Omega 3. I’ve been really foggy headed for the past few weeks after running out of Omega 3s and mind you, I just take one capsule a day because some days I feel it’s too much?

Until yesterday, it hit me that my brain fog has been because of a lack of nutrients – in which when you’re a college student who’s trying to save bills for yourself and to lighten your financial load, yeah you do that. So I popped by at Chemist Warehouse to get a big tube/bottle/(container) of it, pop the pills as how I would usually do – but this time I upped my game – actually following the given prescription, 1 every meal every day.

So far I have 3 popped, and honestly I really feel the effects kicking in. Man, why does it always have to be at the last, final leg then only I learn things about myself? Pisces, seriously though can’t you just channel your Aries? (Which is what I’m doing at the moment with Bonobo – yeah he’s Aries alright)

Needa to get my life around together boy. Sardines I’m coming for you, (I used to love them big time as a child, and I stopped getting them because I couldn’t get a good deal at bloody coles all the time).

Well final leg on Saturday, and 2 Saturdays after this, boyfriend will be going away for a conference while I look for a job to fulfill my PR project. C’mon now. Ending my 1st cycle. I know my 2nd cycle – work life will end, 3rd cycle – settle down and get married and kids.

Ha, I sound like i’m so sure of my life, but we will see how well can I keep my ground. Hey S, love you, hope you’re good, My sun and stars.

let go & take action

Clickbaits, different energies, different seasons – sometimes you just gotta stop listening to what other people are saying – stop making people make you believe that you should think a certain way, enough with the self improvement talks

Take action bbys

Change of. Heart

True change comes from the heart.

My chakras light up in an intense way that’s not painful, but slightly triggering – and reminding me about the person that I wish to become in or without your presence

The mind hurts a little because it cannot understand, but it carries the emotion it feels, only ever with a slight tinge of pain, and now the ego is willing to be guided by the heart.