Unconscious to Subconscious Awareness

The unconscious feeling of becoming you and the rest in this life, feelings of inadequacy still come up from time to time, but self-love works. I see the facade through which I was operating on another level at that time, wait, no. It wasn’t. It was just easier because positive mantra chanting meditation was easier, I wasn’t this intense, but stepping into North Node Scorpio is already here, 7th node in the astrology home, moon node, losing focus.

Eating chickpeas at this moment, staring at its texture, so much orange and yellow, warm colors on that spectrum, spices on that spectrum, giving warmth to cold Capricorn. Icy queen to passionate, 60s film Bajka experiment film still giving me a vibe of me in the future. Wishing I was 36 now, living 36/9. I’m at 22, master builder, keep going.

Hey 12. Aries.

Aries boy, you challenge me to be the best version of myself. Staying present, love you a lot. Got your Bonobo, reminded me of all the things that I’m going to accomplish in this life. Old friends, reminding me of midheaven Capricorn. Capricorn being really misunderstood, it’s necessary.

God help me.



“Halloween, the nightmare before Christmas!”

I’ll be straight up honest with you, I’ve never celebrated Halloween in my entire life. Now before you go bullocks and go “whaaaaaat are you f*cking kidding me?!”, no, you don’t celebrate Halloween the way Americans do where I come from. We do have Halloween dress up parties but you do not get to experience anything pumpkin spice related.

*sad face*

I went to Target some few days ago and found out that there’s a bunch of pumpkin spiced things like marshmallows, chips, even peanut butter (gasps), candy and yes I WANT TO TRY STARBUCKS’ RENOWNED pumpkin spice latte (eyes gleaming with anticipation). I’m not a coffee person, but heck, why not, right? You don’t get to be in America a lot, so why not do it when you can?

Also we drove by a pumpkin patch the other day. It looked awfully cheerful. Orange pumpkins everywhere on the ground and kids were running around picking up their own choice of pumpkin. I’ve never even got to carve a pumpkin. Maybe I’ll try carving my own pumpkin this time of the year with Daniel!

Halloween decor is also everywhere. Blacks, oranges and a bunch of glittery things. I wonder whether they sell any pumpkin spice scented candles or bar soaps, hmm.

My mom’s lucky, her birthday falls on Halloween! I’m just imagining if I were in her shoes, I would be requesting for black robes or just anything black and also pumpkin spiced stuff for my birthday. I’d make the perfect witch.

*sly smile*

Looking forward to be a witch who snacks on anything pumpkin spice. Happy October and Happy Halloween, folks!