To The Lingering Ones

Lingering

Swaying

No more going back and forth

But going forwards again

No more pain

But drenched in rain

It is okay

Because it is

These are areas of grey

She loves him

And it extends to those around them

Love

Only way forward

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I Understand

I understand now the process of owning your own darkness through relating with someone dark, and taking responsibility of your own as well instead of casting the shadow unto others. Not fair.

It’s a lot of inner work to find your inner resources to channel that powerful erotic side of yourself in a positive uplifting way.

So misunderstood, so repressed, but all I can say is that my chart brings me to understand myself on a deeper level and S makes me see all the potential in myself.

But for now, 36 degrees in and I don’t think I have the capacity to further “work”..

Time to step out from that learned state though, and move past it… …

-jumps off a cliff into the Caribbean-

I Feel It

Coming in more than ever, I feel it strongly.

Pluto in 7th, so transformative, becareful how you play the game —

Thank you Tori for being a really wise voice during this chaos,

If you lose your soul, you lose it all – it’s basically how I feel. I feel like I’m losing my soul, I don’t even know who am I at this point, but remember to transform freely and with tolerance, absorbing other people’s beliefs and view of the world is something to learn with art, and taking it slowly but lightly

To choose is to own..? Don’t let me hit the ground

Energetically

Energetically cutting cords with someone who made you lose a part of yourself, who reinvented your psyche, who made you a mini version of them – that form of intrusion is almost albeit unacceptable but thank the Gods for astrology and understanding some forms of psychic imprint in a person —

Dear God I ask for strength to finally breakthrough and have it all come full circle. It can happen now.

I feel really hot and fiery inside, imploding, fiery pits of dragon hell within the subconscious – so violent, controllable but strong – what is this? Serpent? Kundalini?

What is cutting cords? Burning bridges what is it that I have to do?

Mini Goals to Self Love

Loving you with this state of mind, can’t slow down, must breathe, must keep going, time does not wait, empowerment is now. What I tell you three times is true.

Tycho’s Daydream is pushing me to finish up my art as well. To do things:

  1. Transcribe lists
  2. Finishing that piece of art
  3. Sleep

These goals seem so easy but if you’re putting your heart and soul into every single it of it, you’ll realize it takes longer than it should. Time estimations weren’t always my forte, I always liked to overestimate.

Discipline

Staring at jiggly legs, competitive and still want to be the best at everything heh. Waiting for the timer to go off so I can peel off this rejuvenating mask and then get my face done and go run some errands.

So out of shape, so out of shape.

Combative state much? Survival mode, we’re all constantly in survival mode if what we’re doing does not align with our soul mission.

Finish it anyway, because 9. Endings, completion.

Facade versus Lie

Objectivity in life does not even exist at this point, perspectives are learning points, either painful or good, and the psychological aspects of humans are so fascinating, also at the same time a field where you could get lost in, dark, beautiful, broken, redemption – all in there.

Do you want to wear your psyche on your sleeve? Do you want to wear your heart on your sleeve as well?

It’s at the darkest you accept yourself and propel yourself forward with magnetism. A part of you is afraid that people around you cannot handle your truth, and might run away as a result ,and you’re afraid of never being able to be loved in return because of your intensity

I think I understand M.I.A. Sometimes I’m so envious of her because she has built herself to whom she is today. 40 years in making and she’s here, loud and clear.

Understanding that astrology is pseudo-science, but there’s always that part in me that wants and yearns for something larger to fix this chaotic mess that I have – only because I identify with my mind so much. But why do we?

Balance, physical and mental – Aries boy, you do that so well, how do you do that? You challenge me in various ways, you’re the twin, do you know? It’s the whole package you left with me, my brain and body understands Liebe now in its totality.