Performance anxiety is real. It kicks you hard in the gut and makes you think that you might be screwing this one and only chance up – but that’s actually not true, your gut feeling, sometimes it’s not really that accurate because you don’t need to let your past experiences taint your perceptions on things – things can always be different.

So here I am, talking about anxiety like I have the accreditation to do so, but I know how it feels. I never thought I was an anxious person until I moved abroad. It’s so hard somedays trying to step out of your comfort zone – all that used to be on the internet and on the TV last time is now your reality, and you’re actually given a chance to go out there and live the life you want.

BBuutt then…

Ok stop there, breathe.

Fast pace? Too fast? Breathe, seriously meg, breathe


Omega 3

I know, there’s something always about health that we’re all ravin’ about and today I’m going to rave about Omega 3. I’ve been really foggy headed for the past few weeks after running out of Omega 3s and mind you, I just take one capsule a day because some days I feel it’s too much?

Until yesterday, it hit me that my brain fog has been because of a lack of nutrients – in which when you’re a college student who’s trying to save bills for yourself and to lighten your financial load, yeah you do that. So I popped by at Chemist Warehouse to get a big tube/bottle/(container) of it, pop the pills as how I would usually do – but this time I upped my game – actually following the given prescription, 1 every meal every day.

So far I have 3 popped, and honestly I really feel the effects kicking in. Man, why does it always have to be at the last, final leg then only I learn things about myself? Pisces, seriously though can’t you just channel your Aries? (Which is what I’m doing at the moment with Bonobo – yeah he’s Aries alright)

Needa to get my life around together boy. Sardines I’m coming for you, (I used to love them big time as a child, and I stopped getting them because I couldn’t get a good deal at bloody coles all the time).

Well final leg on Saturday, and 2 Saturdays after this, boyfriend will be going away for a conference while I look for a job to fulfill my PR project. C’mon now. Ending my 1st cycle. I know my 2nd cycle – work life will end, 3rd cycle – settle down and get married and kids.

Ha, I sound like i’m so sure of my life, but we will see how well can I keep my ground. Hey S, love you, hope you’re good, My sun and stars.

let go & take action

Clickbaits, different energies, different seasons – sometimes you just gotta stop listening to what other people are saying – stop making people make you believe that you should think a certain way, enough with the self improvement talks

Take action bbys

Heart of Gold

Taking advantage of people’s hearts of gold, and the ones who truly care and want it and need it most actually don’t get it, but get pushed out into the cold to survive by themselves, having a sense of bitterness in oneself in the long run or hope – only to be dashed by scammers alike.

What has our world come to? Liars, deceptive manipulators.

Where are the genuine people? They have to be out there somehow.

Never trust the internet (most of the time).

Uphill Battle

Whether it matters or not, some dreams wake you up from the rosy lens you’ve been using this entire time, stuck in a never endless time loop where you can’t seem to get out from it. Truth is, you can, but it’s going to be an uphill battle.

Battles, choose them wisely, and adjust yourself with time. I am writing this to myself, not to anyone, because I know more than anyone else my limits and my own darkness which I let occupy me for longer than it should, and it shouldn’t anymore.

Just when you start the battle, there will be a lot of obstacles, but there are people who love you as well. Win fair, play fair, be consistent, be humble, persistence is key.

SHe Needs

Notice how in the “she” there’s a “he”? Yes, we all have a masculine side within ourselves and to deny that will create an imbalance.

“She needs love” “She needs equality” – do you see that the embodiment of women is to empower all beings? Not just her female companions, but also male counterparts as well. That’s what mother nature does, brings back everyone to her womb, only to nurture and heal them once more.

So this divide of feminism and men-ism is not speaking about unity, but about separation and power struggles which for centuries has plagued every single mindset in our human brains.

We keep wanting equality but by shunning our other counterpart, what does that really mean? Still essentially rejecting our own parts, and that’s why we cannot come full circle.

To all neo-feminists out there, think of it. Anger will no longer prevail because it causes nothing but strife. That masculine side of ourselves is to empower us to be able to give life, give love to us first, and then extending that 10fold to the people around you.

Thank you Anne Hathaway for bringing this up.

I Understand

I understand now the process of owning your own darkness through relating with someone dark, and taking responsibility of your own as well instead of casting the shadow unto others. Not fair.

It’s a lot of inner work to find your inner resources to channel that powerful erotic side of yourself in a positive uplifting way.

So misunderstood, so repressed, but all I can say is that my chart brings me to understand myself on a deeper level and S makes me see all the potential in myself.

But for now, 36 degrees in and I don’t think I have the capacity to further “work”..

Time to step out from that learned state though, and move past it… …

-jumps off a cliff into the Caribbean-