Desire

Have you ever gone past desire to see behind that it’s actually because you can finally accept your 7th house and have a relationship with yourself, and with that you’re ready to give yourself to another wholesomely?

Creative self expression, they always say.. As I type away in my lover’s office in the dark, I silently crave for his presence, or just to touch his face and look at him deeply. Sometimes, he doesn’t know, but I know things. For example, I caught him tearing up a little. Just for awhile, and it was gone.

Concentrate your mind, they say. I find my intense focus drawing some flow of peace and innate warmth from my loins.

I finally know how to stop the tears from coming. I just have to call your name in my head, and pain goes away. They say, whenever you can’t seem to bring yourself to say a certain someone’s name without crying -it’s because your love is overflowing.

I want you here right now.

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Anxiety

Performance anxiety is real. It kicks you hard in the gut and makes you think that you might be screwing this one and only chance up – but that’s actually not true, your gut feeling, sometimes it’s not really that accurate because you don’t need to let your past experiences taint your perceptions on things – things can always be different.

So here I am, talking about anxiety like I have the accreditation to do so, but I know how it feels. I never thought I was an anxious person until I moved abroad. It’s so hard somedays trying to step out of your comfort zone – all that used to be on the internet and on the TV last time is now your reality, and you’re actually given a chance to go out there and live the life you want.

BBuutt then…

Ok stop there, breathe.

Fast pace? Too fast? Breathe, seriously meg, breathe

let go & take action

Clickbaits, different energies, different seasons – sometimes you just gotta stop listening to what other people are saying – stop making people make you believe that you should think a certain way, enough with the self improvement talks

Take action bbys

Gotta Go

I gotta go. these past memories no longer have a hold on me and i am frankly relieved, however i just need to say that it will be a fond place in my heart, a place where i have learnt a lot of lessons, emotions, following the heart has really helped me grow into a better person.

We all have learnt to love and lose somebody, a part of ourselves that will quite frankly never be the same from this point on.

So I gotta go, I gotta go.


 

Heart of Gold

Taking advantage of people’s hearts of gold, and the ones who truly care and want it and need it most actually don’t get it, but get pushed out into the cold to survive by themselves, having a sense of bitterness in oneself in the long run or hope – only to be dashed by scammers alike.

What has our world come to? Liars, deceptive manipulators.

Where are the genuine people? They have to be out there somehow.

Never trust the internet (most of the time).

On High Functioning Anxiety

Maybe everyone has a degree of high functioning anxiety in them, I noticed that I do this everytime when I have a fairly high degree of stress which then translates into anxiety. Coupled with music it becomes high functioning anxiety.

I never understood social anxiety either but now I feel it, it must’ve been something my brain tried to understand how I tried to cope all those years all thanks to the all seeing eye/portal of shrooms.

DMT later, and I am actually a little terrified, but I should not even think about it right now. I am currently finishing up this allowable cheat sheet and I can feel my hands becoming colder. I think I really love unnecessary adrenaline and that makes me high functioning.

Or “high” functioning (wink wink 😉

Energetically

Energetically cutting cords with someone who made you lose a part of yourself, who reinvented your psyche, who made you a mini version of them – that form of intrusion is almost albeit unacceptable but thank the Gods for astrology and understanding some forms of psychic imprint in a person —

Dear God I ask for strength to finally breakthrough and have it all come full circle. It can happen now.

I feel really hot and fiery inside, imploding, fiery pits of dragon hell within the subconscious – so violent, controllable but strong – what is this? Serpent? Kundalini?

What is cutting cords? Burning bridges what is it that I have to do?