SHe Needs

Notice how in the “she” there’s a “he”? Yes, we all have a masculine side within ourselves and to deny that will create an imbalance.

“She needs love” “She needs equality” – do you see that the embodiment of women is to empower all beings? Not just her female companions, but also male counterparts as well. That’s what mother nature does, brings back everyone to her womb, only to nurture and heal them once more.

So this divide of feminism and men-ism is not speaking about unity, but about separation and power struggles which for centuries has plagued every single mindset in our human brains.

We keep wanting equality but by shunning our other counterpart, what does that really mean? Still essentially rejecting our own parts, and that’s why we cannot come full circle.

To all neo-feminists out there, think of it. Anger will no longer prevail because it causes nothing but strife. That masculine side of ourselves is to empower us to be able to give life, give love to us first, and then extending that 10fold to the people around you.

Thank you Anne Hathaway for bringing this up.

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Energetically

Energetically cutting cords with someone who made you lose a part of yourself, who reinvented your psyche, who made you a mini version of them – that form of intrusion is almost albeit unacceptable but thank the Gods for astrology and understanding some forms of psychic imprint in a person —

Dear God I ask for strength to finally breakthrough and have it all come full circle. It can happen now.

I feel really hot and fiery inside, imploding, fiery pits of dragon hell within the subconscious – so violent, controllable but strong – what is this? Serpent? Kundalini?

What is cutting cords? Burning bridges what is it that I have to do?

Emotional Catharsis

“Pearly shells, down the ocean, shining in the sun, covering the shore..”

To my mom whom I’ve always misunderstood – I understand you now and the generational pain that women have always carried, and I wish you weren’t so emotionally repressed and having it coming out in different ways.

I was on the bus on the way home after my mom and sister left, and this sudden wave came on like a thief, a brief memory of my mom singing this particular song and the next thing you know, I was secretly tearing at the back of the bus.

I always felt disconnected because I always thinking about how things should be with parents, let alone let movies taint my perception of how things should be, and not loving and accepting my loved ones for who they are. Seeing that they do accept me in their ways, but sometimes still imposing some things they think are the best for me – and I will no longer fight that.

I know. I feel lonely as heck most of the time ever since this thinking brain got back online after a long rest from shrooms, but it was necessary to let the pain come in so that I can purge.

Today, I can say I feel human again.

Feeling

Do you know why you go into deep bouts of depression? Yeah, you. All of us, or maybe some of us who try to ponder life’s meaning too much. Elitism. That’s what makes you depressed, no one ever asked you to find out the meaning of life and beyond, but because you think you’re so brilliant (the Ego), you start to question question and question. You get into songwriting, drawing, acting to act your deepest emotions because you cannot express it without feeling contrived, because people have seen you and that mask you’ve worn for a 1000 years, unchanged. To change creates fear, and that makes your heart pound. But there’s a part in you, that asks – what if I actually ran for it this time and stop making myself wait, rather than coming back a 1000 million, trillion, gazillion times to finally learn this, and step out of your comfort zone?

Ya. Olafur Arnalds is deep, not me. I am just a channel to channel thoughts. Beautiful.

Effort.

Ending the Generational Wound

Understanding, and going through so many layers of the subconscious and finally coming to realize that a lot of this, factoral patterning or whatever it is called – if you have enough respect for yourself, you will respect all the generations that have come before you and what lessons can you learn from them. The wound should not bring you down, but rather build you. It is going to be your hamartia but will you let other people step all over it? Or choose to only let a few people in?

Understanding from multiple points of view is absolutely important in helping you understand whatever you do right now is only for yourself, and in a way – the harsher lessons of life were meant to prepare you for something that required you to step out of the comfort zone. In which in this case, I strongly agree. A lot of tough love, so should you take the advice and toil on with your hard work, or be submerged with all these distractions that take you away from the real purpose, all whatever your ancestors had brought before you – to nothing, to ashes?

A renewed sense of self respect is different from feeling good about yourself. You can runaway from all the myriad of thoughts that disturb you or stay grounded and accept the parts that have become you, learn how to use your charms as advantages but not to overpower people, but to show them how things can be done.

Power comes at a cost. Tread lightly.

The Search Is Over

The search is over, Megan. It’s right here, right now.

No more labels, no more ideals, no more expectations, no more boundaries, it’s all that there is. It is a part of your life that you’ll have to carry with, but it does not have to define you as a person. It’s okay to channel that dark scorpion energy sometimes when you need to get some past karma cleared, but then do not forget your present Part of Fortune in Cancer, okay?

Okay.

Whatever comes your way will be something you’ll have to learn, it does not matter who or what or how it will present itself, you’ll just need to learn to have the tenacity to face it just like the way you’ve faced your biggest challenge so far in life.

You thought you were gonna die, yes you died, but in a metaphorical way. Now, you’re experiencing death again, peeling all the layers to show what you really have within, your core power, your passionate soul. Cultivate, mold, make something out of yourself that you’re passionate about.

Your skills – it’s okay to make that a part of your identity. It is not better or worse off than experiences, but for now making skills set as a part of your identity is what you need.

Do it.

Sloth (Lazy Bum)

“Slothing away is the most productive form of non-doing & existing state.”


Being mindful of your own sloth, lazy ways is actually a privilege that not a lot of people have. I say this because I think that when one is aware of their sloth ways, they incessantly know that they ARE, and they choose to be that way and accept it.

There’s beauty in a lot of things, if you saw slothing away from a different perspective, it’s learning how to just be, and not define yourself by doing so many things that we think we have to do to be deemed worthy of others’ respect. I do that a lot though, unfortunately. I’m always trapped in this mentality that I am never going to be doing enough in this life to be on the top of my game. I always want to do more or to do everything – and that boils down to a part in me that likes control, perfection, the feeling of not being able to trust other people to carry out things the way I want it to.

Forceful. 12th house in Aries, that’s my karma this time. I’ll have to unlearn all my ways from the past and flow, keep flowing, this is why I’m born under Pisces in this life, to learn to be a fish and swim in a big ocean (emotions, spirituality, fountain of life or life itself).

I actually feel like a sloth while typing this, the only thing that’s keeping me awake is the music. I think I need to take a food allergy test.