Heart of Gold

Taking advantage of people’s hearts of gold, and the ones who truly care and want it and need it most actually don’t get it, but get pushed out into the cold to survive by themselves, having a sense of bitterness in oneself in the long run or hope – only to be dashed by scammers alike.

What has our world come to? Liars, deceptive manipulators.

Where are the genuine people? They have to be out there somehow.

Never trust the internet (most of the time).


On Figuring Out Some Things

I can’t keep trying to figure out things and let people take away my inner sense of worth just because your definitions and labels deem me to be a certain way and I refuse and will always refuse to be that


On High Functioning Anxiety

Maybe everyone has a degree of high functioning anxiety in them, I noticed that I do this everytime when I have a fairly high degree of stress which then translates into anxiety. Coupled with music it becomes high functioning anxiety.

I never understood social anxiety either but now I feel it, it must’ve been something my brain tried to understand how I tried to cope all those years all thanks to the all seeing eye/portal of shrooms.

DMT later, and I am actually a little terrified, but I should not even think about it right now. I am currently finishing up this allowable cheat sheet and I can feel my hands becoming colder. I think I really love unnecessary adrenaline and that makes me high functioning.

Or “high” functioning (wink wink 😉


Energetically cutting cords with someone who made you lose a part of yourself, who reinvented your psyche, who made you a mini version of them – that form of intrusion is almost albeit unacceptable but thank the Gods for astrology and understanding some forms of psychic imprint in a person —

Dear God I ask for strength to finally breakthrough and have it all come full circle. It can happen now.

I feel really hot and fiery inside, imploding, fiery pits of dragon hell within the subconscious – so violent, controllable but strong – what is this? Serpent? Kundalini?

What is cutting cords? Burning bridges what is it that I have to do?

Food and Health

This day has come, back to Libra all consuming health matters and being in my 6th house of balance. BBCream, eating clean, whatever the crap that comes up to help me stay healthy and balanced because this sedentary lifestyle that I was so used to, or unwilling to step into for some irrational fear – was pretty darn stupid, I’ll have to admit.

Hey, back to Paul Desmond again. So good, putting my brain in that mode. Swimming has been good, I think I noticed that my muscles are coming back, and as a result I’m getting “bigger”, which in other words it means I need to get back to cardio to get that lean skin going.

Yoga, I love you but I’ll only use you for rejuvenating purposes .You’re lovely, but in order to live the karma 8, balancing the material and spiritual is a must, so see you in the next life.

Side note: I hate the word ‘style’. Expression.


Often afraid of settling, people become nomads. Nomads towards people whom they’re connected with, nomads towards the places they frequent, nomads even towards their ownselves.

Escapism is always a musing, a lure to the enigmatic unknown. Music as a form of escape, everything is used to escape another form of something which we are not ready to face in the present.

The harvest of being in the present is being true to your very own essence, and for me Saturn kicks in when that happens – detachment. I think the music that is playing behind the background also helps in modifying subconscious actions.

I know I am writing this post because I am escaping workload.

Fear of success, not stepping into one’s own soul mission for fear of too much power and too much change – now, that is real.

-when will we even settle?-