Your Lullaby Love

Saudade? Nao. Triste? Nao.

Mi amore, te quiero tanto mucho.

Stefanovski. Lelatubyu. (it means – to slay a slaughter). Seemingly relevant.

Du bist meine Clyde zu meinem Bonnie.

‘Cause when I’m seeing double,
It’s your lullaby love that keeps me from trouble’

Advertisements

Desire

Have you ever gone past desire to see behind that it’s actually because you can finally accept your 7th house and have a relationship with yourself, and with that you’re ready to give yourself to another wholesomely?

Creative self expression, they always say.. As I type away in my lover’s office in the dark, I silently crave for his presence, or just to touch his face and look at him deeply. Sometimes, he doesn’t know, but I know things. For example, I caught him tearing up a little. Just for awhile, and it was gone.

Concentrate your mind, they say. I find my intense focus drawing some flow of peace and innate warmth from my loins.

I finally know how to stop the tears from coming. I just have to call your name in my head, and pain goes away. They say, whenever you can’t seem to bring yourself to say a certain someone’s name without crying -it’s because your love is overflowing.

I want you here right now.

Moving On

It’s official, the beginning of all endings.

“Move on with your life,” dad said before he and mom left. I stood in the hallway trying hard not to let the tears fall, because I finally understand what love is, what spiritual practice is, which is to give openly despite differences. Acceptance. My inner child has healed in the last few days.

And the other man, S. I was watching him sleep this morning and I don’t want to ever lose him because of my projections. Connect first, always connect first. Never put your agenda forward before connecting.

Disowning Pisces-Gemini-2nd house and diving head straight into 7th-Saggitarrius, disowning my like for airy piano with subtle emotional influences, disowning things that make me, ME, has been the worst betrayal. I never really like betraying other people, but I betrayed myself in a destructive way that only can be shown to light with another person’s compassion…

Family. Love. Kindness. Mental health. Persistence. Creativity. Movement.

Visions of You

I can’t write in this state when my heart and soul is full of nostalgia. I dreamt you out of my 2 favourite animated movies.

Now you’re big as life, breathing, moving, living right before my eyes.

Everytime I see your face, I can’t believe my luck, but this is reality.

I am no longer sad, only carrying remnants of deep love that I have learned from the past.

Liebling, ich liebe dich.

let go & take action

Clickbaits, different energies, different seasons – sometimes you just gotta stop listening to what other people are saying – stop making people make you believe that you should think a certain way, enough with the self improvement talks

Take action bbys

Change of. Heart

True change comes from the heart.

My chakras light up in an intense way that’s not painful, but slightly triggering – and reminding me about the person that I wish to become in or without your presence

The mind hurts a little because it cannot understand, but it carries the emotion it feels, only ever with a slight tinge of pain, and now the ego is willing to be guided by the heart.

 

Gotta Go

I gotta go. these past memories no longer have a hold on me and i am frankly relieved, however i just need to say that it will be a fond place in my heart, a place where i have learnt a lot of lessons, emotions, following the heart has really helped me grow into a better person.

We all have learnt to love and lose somebody, a part of ourselves that will quite frankly never be the same from this point on.

So I gotta go, I gotta go.