Ouran

Ouran High School Host Club. I grew up with them and upholding my ideal lifestyle in my head, but dreams are useless if you don’t start building it in physicality.

My stellium in Capricorn, what do you want from me? Or should I just tone down and channel my Sagittarius instead?

Stellium in aquarius, can you be loving too?

=Ouran ending theme=

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Moving On

It’s official, the beginning of all endings.

“Move on with your life,” dad said before he and mom left. I stood in the hallway trying hard not to let the tears fall, because I finally understand what love is, what spiritual practice is, which is to give openly despite differences. Acceptance. My inner child has healed in the last few days.

And the other man, S. I was watching him sleep this morning and I don’t want to ever lose him because of my projections. Connect first, always connect first. Never put your agenda forward before connecting.

Disowning Pisces-Gemini-2nd house and diving head straight into 7th-Saggitarrius, disowning my like for airy piano with subtle emotional influences, disowning things that make me, ME, has been the worst betrayal. I never really like betraying other people, but I betrayed myself in a destructive way that only can be shown to light with another person’s compassion…

Family. Love. Kindness. Mental health. Persistence. Creativity. Movement.

Visions of You

I can’t write in this state when my heart and soul is full of nostalgia. I dreamt you out of my 2 favourite animated movies.

Now you’re big as life, breathing, moving, living right before my eyes.

Everytime I see your face, I can’t believe my luck, but this is reality.

I am no longer sad, only carrying remnants of deep love that I have learned from the past.

Liebling, ich liebe dich.

That One Day

That one day, you decided to drink 2 chais, to load up on the work you have, and because of that you have pushed your emotions to the back of your head, to the deepest part of your heart, that only another big movement would be able to shake you

I type this trying to find that depth of emotion which I have chosen to push into my interiors, because I know I need to be strong to face head on what is to come in the next few days, hours & minutes

I am no longer scared as I know I am willing to take all it takes to make things work, the inner phoenix has risen. Now, what has taken over is a slight tinge of fear – fearing that I would become too self sufficient, and pushing away people in the process because they do not feel needed

For I must tell you, none of that is true. I need myself more than ever, she had been in never ending slumber until you shook her to her core.

S. Your kindness touched my wounded soul and mended it, and because of that I want to become stronger and protect you

Precious one.