Alignment (II)

“Alignment does not just happen once, it happens every time you have learned a lesson and let go of that belief in order to be aligned with your new self.”


Aligning your own energies with the universe is truly a beautiful thing. I have been away for the past few weeks since I’ve entered a new phase in life, and now another one is ending. I am getting ready for my new alignment with whatever changes may come. I am perplexed as to how I used to be scared of change, how I used to be afraid to let go of the past – thinking that somehow the past would always be better, and that nothing in the future will ever live up to that standard. Now, if you’d ask me, I would reply in the cheesiest yogi-style ever: Nothing is better than anything, everything is equal. Comparisons are just constructs of the mind.

As I am typing this, I am attempting the lotus pose, but without proper props (yoga mat), my ankles hurt a lot. Yoga teaches you how to listen to your body, it teaches you what is good and what is bad for yourself. It teaches you mindfulness, it expands your awareness, it extends your SELF to everyone else, knowing that we are all One. 🙂

Talking about alignment, I just wanted to express how happy I am as I am in a place where my yoga practice is ready to be taken to the next level. You could only imagine how ecstatic I was when I could do a backbend (like finally!). I have been getting a lot of signs from the Universe (in numbers) about deepening my spiritual practice/project/career – and that created a lot of confusion in me. But today, I have found my answer: bring my yoga practice to a whole new level. Bring it on Universe!

I am so thankful for these meditation playlists on Youtube, they are so soothing to listen to whenever I am trying to ground myself in order to be in the present.

There’s also something important I want to talk about alignment – not being aligned to your true purpose is not necessarily a bad thing. Always trust the timing of the Universe, who knows? Maybe it was already written in your contract that prior to your alignment, you have to go through some challenges – because without obstacles, how would we be able to rise from the ashes like the almighty phoenix? It will always be a matter of perspective, nothing is inherently good or bad. Polarities really do not exist in the end.

Embrace the grey area, embrace the uncertainty, embrace the flow. You already know everything you have to, it is just a matter of Divine timing.

Namaste.

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Sexual-Spiritual?

“Your sensuality drives me crazy, it makes me pine for you even more.”


With Chet Baker’s full album playing softly in the background, she happily lights up the sandalwood scented candle in the bedroom. She walks towards the dresser to check how she looks. She did a messy updo, grabbed her favourite scent and rolled it onto hot points on her neck. She had carefully picked out her outfit for the night – the lacy black peignoir, classy and sexy at the same time.

In the midst of preparing, she hears the front door get unlocked. “He’s here,” she thought to herself. Slowly but sensually, she does some final touches and walks towards the door. Today was a long day for him, and all he was looking forward to was to just wind down. He was not expecting any surprise. She greeted him at the door. “Mmm, look who’s home,” she added with a coy smile, at the same time flaunting her bodacious figure in that daring lacy black peignoir.

He looked up and at the moment he saw her, all worries have been replaced with thoughts filled with lust, love and passion. The way the peignoir fitted loosely but not shapelessly on her body, her nipples slightly showing through the lightly covered chest area, her scent, the way she was coyly smiling, her deep sensual gaze – he could go on and on. He found all of her so alluring, so perfect, so beautiful, so divine. Yet somehow he knew that by just calling her beautiful would not even suffice.

“She is truly a work of art,” he finally thought to himself. Again, his heart started racing wildly as the thoughts of making hard love to her kept resurfacing since his verpa was really getting unmanageable. What was he waiting for? He didn’t know. Maybe deep down inside, he just wanted to enjoy this beautiful moment. Maybe he just wanted to savor every bit by first devouring her purely through his piercing gaze. Or maybe what he wanted was more than just an animalistic impulse to dive into rough love-making. He craved for a genuine connection, he wanted their love-making to not be just a union of physical bodies, but rather – a union of two beautiful twin souls.

She could read him like a book. Without hesitating, she took his hands and placed it on her wide hips while she wrapped her arms around his neck. She started slow dancing to the mellow jazz that was softly playing in the background, never breaking eye contact with him as she gazed into the deepest recesses of his soul. He picked up fairly fast for he was a good dancer, but his thoughts were still racing like a wild deer. He could feel her soft but well-toned flesh underneath the peignoir. That itself was hard to handle – for the tenderness of her flesh made him want to submit to his desires, but what really drove him to the brink of insanity was her swaying hips.

It was an excruciating tease. Their hips were so incredibly close to each other, but they never made contact. Whenever she moved forward, he would have to move a step backwards vice versa. That was what slow dancing is about – an intricate & formulaic tease. “I know what you’re thinking of,” she whispered softly into his ear. That whisper sent tingles throughout his body like how an ASMR activates tingle points in one’s body. His verpa was really sticking out like a sore thumb now.

Just like that without any warning, he carried her swiftly and made way to the bedroom. Frantically, he dropped her onto the bed and dropped his weight on her. “Your sensuality drives me nuts. You don’t even have any idea how it makes me pine for you even more,” he said with so much aggression for the next thing he could only think of is to fuck her (for the lack of term) to oblivion. She coyly pulled away, but he had her pinned down beneath the sheets. Her invigorating scent filled his nostrils as he kissed her neck. With every kiss planted on her skin, she would moan slightly. The neck was her weak spot and he knew that very well.

It came to a point where she could not resist this beautiful being any longer. She wanted to feel his verpa deep in her, she wanted to give all of herself to this man, but most importantly – she wanted to feel the rhythmic pulsating and throbbing sensation that happened whenever they both climaxed. The next thing you know, she was already undressing him. This fueled his passion to make love to her even more. He wanted to make her wildest fantasies come true. He wanted to hear her call his name softly and breathlessly while she digs her fingertips deep into his back as he thrusts passionately without breaking eye-contact.

They could only handle that much amount of physical pleasure before bursting into a powerful climax together. As each one of them climaxed, the other could see the momentary bliss in each others’ eyes. They knew deep down inside that was a glimpse of how enlightenment truly felt like, and that the art of making love was beyond physical intimacy. The art of making love at its core is purely spiritual, and that they have finally accomplished it after constantly searching for each other in different lifetimes.

They both broke into a smile as they collapsed into each others’ bodies, their souls intertwined for eternity.

I Am Enough

“Whatever I’ve done to ever deserve you, it couldn’t have possibly been enough.”


I stumbled across this depressing comic strip which had the quote I highlighted above. I remember crying because that’s exactly how I feel about Daniel. I feel like I do not deserve his love, or that whatever I have done – wasn’t enough to prove to him that I loved him more than anything. I meditated on that thought and realized that it is a false core belief believing that I am not good enough, or that I haven’t done enough. That isn’t true though.

I realize that these core beliefs are from our Ego all the time. The Ego is constantly conjuring up these thoughts in our heads especially when its survival is being threatened. I’d like to see my Ego writhe into the ground one day, and I think I am going towards that path. More often, I find myself taking care of myself more, practicing self-love through actions or habits that make me at my Essence, whole.

I find that Hans Zimmer’s Time from Inception really helps lift my spirits in a calm way, not in a way where it indulges in exorbitant amounts of feel-good harmonics (which does nothing but inflate our Ego). I’ve noticed that happen whenever I listen to intense soundtracks e/g: Batman/The Dark Knight. I mean they’re really good stuff, but usually when I listen to music similar to that – my thoughts are always Ego based: I’m badass, I’m invincible, I’m cool, I’m powerful etc. which is why I have stopped listening to music which gets really intense.

I get it now why people are always so attracted to music that makes them feel grandiose for their core belief of ‘I am not enough, I am not good enough’ is prevalent in their lives. Now that I have seen past that veil, I feel like I do not need intense music to make me feel good. I am attracted to music with light and simple textures for it creates a chaos free, clutter free mind.

Remember, you and I are enough. Don’t let the Ego fool you.

Infinito

“We could be still trapped in an infinity loop where you and I keep crossing paths and falling in love, and I’d still think it wouldn’t suffice.”


To draw an infinity loop, you’d just have to imagine drawing a number 8 sideways. I mean, come on what sort of advice was that Cher? What I actually wanted to convey was that infinity is symbolized by the number 8 (if you know a thing or two about numerology). I was going through pictures of Daniel yesterday and I realized that my love for him just grows stronger with each and every day that passes despite being temporarily separated on this physical plane.

At the same time, I couldn’t fathom how that could even be possible. If you asked me the same question back in the olden days, I’d tell you that I’d be afraid of forgetting how it was like, being in love with that one person who used to be your everything. But today, my answer is different. My answer is – I am no longer afraid of forgetting how love feels, because love is just IS. I never wholly understood the concept of unconditional love or undying love (although it always piqued my interest). I used to think that my feelings, my emotions will eventually fade as days pass after Daniel has long gone.

But today, here I am, full of love, sitting on the parquet floor in a dimly lit room, typing away on my laptop, trying to put my emotions, my love for everything into words. So this is how it feels, to love unconditionally and undyingly, and it extends beyond. Unconditional love isn’t just for your object or person of affection, it extends to everything. Love connects us to everything, love connects us to the source, love connects us to God or whatever your terminology is.

Question: Why do some people think that power is the most powerful thing in the world? I’d beg to differ. Love is the most powerful thing in the world. It is the only thing that transcends time, space, dimensions, gravity. What are you going to do with your power? Your tyranny in time will just become mere history. Your power can’t occupy space, it’s only limited to people and things. Your power can’t transcend dimensions, you can’t control other things in different dimensions despite your “power”. Your power does not affect gravity – you can be powerful, but everytime when you trip and fall, gravity wins.

Power seeking, fame seeking, money seeking – all these are different forms of attachment. Why does everyone keep forgetting that the root of suffering is because of attachment?

Struggles

“Why do we struggle so much? Why do I struggle so much? – Because of resistance.”


Resistance means nothing if what you are resisting will eventually have to happen in the future. Your acceptance is the only thing that will guide you throughout this tumultuous journey.

However, it is important to note that not all forms of acceptance are good. Not all situations have to be accepted if they are detrimental to your well being. Remember, YOU are the only variable that can be CHANGED. So, change yourself & learn how to accept things beyond your control. I know it sounds contradictory, but in order to learn how to change and veer yourself towards your personal truth, you’ll have to learn how to first accept your own shortcomings.

Duality & non-duality are One. Just like everything else, you can’t just acknowledge the polarities or you can’t just say that nothing exists. Instead, embrace the polarities & understand that they are also constructs of the mind. By admitting something exists, it also is acknowledging the fact that it is illusory, hence not existing. Nevertheless, they are BOTH equally necessary and important to understand the concept of – EVERYTHING IS ONE. Without acknowledging one or the other, the concept of EVERYTHING IS ONE will not hold, and thus creating an imbalance.

Like said: Remember to appreciate the beauty of everything without being attached to it, because everything is temporary. That is the beauty of life & death. It is a never ending cycle. Frustrated people would think this: why can’t I seem to exit the matrix? It is because they cannot grasp the concept of life & death as being one.

The art of non-attachment is the way to escape the Matrix.

The art of non-attachment is to learn how to be a master or a jack of all trades. Compartmentalizing will only create segregation, sole focus on one subject will only create alienation. The art of non-attachment is parallel to the art of everything in moderation, in balance, YIN & YANG.

Gratitude

“Gratitude cultivates the feeling of love for everything else, and that is why we should practice gratitude.”


I am so happy right now after finding out this awesome low light app or program (google f.lux) that allows my screen to adjust to the suitable brightness it has to be in certain lighting conditions. This is so awesome. Did you know that I have an immense hate for fluorescent lighting? Artificial lighting makes me feel like utter shit, I’m not even exaggerating. I get really grumpy and moody once you expose me to lights like that because they are nowhere near the natural sunlight which increases your seratonin levels. In fact, your melatonin levels shoot up high when one is being exposed to nasty, buzzing, glaring, white fluorescent lights.

The feeling of gratitude just washes you with so much love you just love everything that is going on in your life. In fact, I do think that Daniel has had a huge role in this. If it wasn’t because of his crossing to the other side, I wouldn’t have been enlightened this way. Again, I wouldn’t want to be calling myself enlightened – but I truly believe in the journey of seeking the truth. It’s funny how the journey of seeking the truth becomes a very grateful and humbling one for one. Everything that I stumble across or upon, just resonates with me whether it is bad or not. Again, these polarities do not really exist but just serve as a construct for the mind to understand things even better.

Did you even realize how limited our language is? It can’t even be used to describe certain ways we are feeling, it’s almost as if the only way for that to happen is through telepathy. I know I have mentioned this in my past post about having an extractor to extract our raw thoughts so that they do not get lost in translation. The more you delve into this truth searching process, the more you realize that there’s so much to be said. It is as if all the words, terms or even known facts can’t even explain whatever you know inertly. Telepathy should really be the next form of consciousness.

I do believe that we are heading into that direction, and I am grateful for everything so far that has happened or hasn’t happened. I wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for my past decisions and experiences.

Namaste.

Patience

“Patience is virtue, my young padawan.”


Of course, I had to fuck up my own alignment for a bit, and delay my Involution process for a tad little bit because I lack patience. I got too carried away with my progress, and one fine night I decided to do the bakasana pose without any prior training (and also, with the overachiever attitude I have, I looked up cheats for the pose).

You’ve guessed it – yes, I injured myself. It has been almost 3 days now and I feel restless everytime I cannot do any yoga because it has become a part of me. As I’m typing this right now, I can feel a slight tingling sensation on the wrist which I had hurt. Very smart Cher, very smart of you to attempt a cheat Bakasana pose.

The universe will always send you something to remind you about how you’re doing or some sort of lesson/warning to warn of your reckless behavior. I will try to use this entire week to refrain from any heavy exercises, and maybe try a little bit of hands free yoga for 6 weeks and slowly moving back into my usual routine.

Man, could you imagine though? If I genuinely didn’t fuck up my progress, where would I be right now? Happily doing my yoga before going to bed is the answer. Also, not suffering from bloating problems caused by my diet. Yoga is like the answer to every ailment I have, but overusing it will definitely cause dire consequences. Balance, balance is key. Yin and Yang. Okay I have to get my Yin and Yang tattoo done ASAP to remind me of the importance of moderation.

BREATHE CHER, breathe.